I’d like to be your friend. So don’t cry anymore. […] Don’t cry all alone. It’s all right. It’ll be all right. The scary part is already over.
This is the point in the story where the reader is inevitably driven crazy by feels and general worry for some character or another. I suppose I’m an outlier in that I was consumed by worry for Kureno when I first read it (to be fair, the whole scene with Arisa and the bird is intentionally misleading, and then Takaya-sensei never brings him up again after he got STABBED IN THE BACK until this chapter). But between Tohru’s physical peril, Kyo’s gut-punching emotional stupidity, and even Akito’s sudden change of heart (followed by apparent tragedy), there’s more than enough pain to go around. And just in case you forgot, Hiro’s curse broke, too.
Anyhow, Akito runs into Shigure and Yuki, alerting them to Tohru’s accident.
Shigure: Who fell?
Shigure: …Where did she fall?
Akito: Over there…straight from here…What should we do? She’s not moving! Shigure…Shigure, I…
Shigure: Did you push her?
I know it’s not fair to Shigure, but that does come across as a cruel question. Akito admits to stabbing Kureno, though. Shigure takes Akito back to the house and calls the main house (Yuki already called an ambulance) while Yuki stays to watch Tohru. Kyo was apparently too far away to hear the commotion, and I feel like it’s a very good thing Akito ran into Yuki instead of Kyo, partly because Yuki is able to actually get things done under pressure and partly because Kyo could very well have exploded at Akito. As it is, Kyo comes back home to find Akito sitting in a very subdued mood and hears about the situation as Shigure explains it to Hatori on the phone (also, Kureno is apparently alright, if you were worried about him, too).
Kyo’s nightmares seem to be coming true – and the last thing he said to Tohru was, “I’m disillusioned.”
Kyo: Wait…wait! Don’t! No…no, this ain’t what I wanted! Tohru! Wait!
Don’t cry. Don’t cry anymore. Who’s crying? Akito-san? Kyo-kun? Oh, right. Kyo-kun…I have to go after him. I have to tell him too. I have to tell the person I love, I’m glad I met you. Maybe it’s only been trouble for you, Kyo-kun, but our time together has filled me with joy. Your awkward kindness made me so happy. Your smile and look of embarrassment made me happy too. Little by little, my happiness turned into affection for you. More than anything, I ran after you desperately that day [when he revealed his true form] because I was already in love with you, Kyo-kun. I love you. That’s why I didn’t want you to go anywhere. Kyo-kun, I know being with you and my feelings for you have hurt you, but please don’t cry anymore. Just as all good things – happy things, fun things – must come to an end, scary and sad things will also come to an end. Always. Even if you can’t believe it when it happens, please…please don’t give up. Live. I want you to live. You might make mistakes or lose your way, but please…please live. Don’t ever stop moving forward. Please…that’s all I ask. Don’t give up. Even if I’m no longer at your side…
That’s exactly what Kyo needs to hear. He needs permission to live, to not feel the need to be forgiven for the bad things he blames himself for or the happiness he doesn’t believe he deserves.
Tohru: It’s okay Kyo-kun…It’s all going to be okay. (internally) Can you hear me? Am I reaching you? Please…
Kyo: Okay, okay. Okay already, I get it. Stop talking…you don’t gotta say another word…
Let me reach you.
Until next time…
2 thoughts on “Chapter 122: Let Me Reach You”
Ahh finally the penultimate kiss/climax of the story, such an iconic and powerful moment! Regarding Shigure’s question it really does make you wonder what he would have done if Tohru hadn’t managed to get through to Akito and she really DID push her? (and stab her) He seemed genuinely surprised at the news at first, he always seems so inflappable and is constantly talking up a big game that it doesn’t matter who gets hurts, he’ll still continue to orchestrate his plan. But I wonder what he would have done if actually faced with that outcome? Would it have caused him to re-think things? Realize that its gone too far and perhaps he should rethink his whole attraction to Akito in the first place? Would there be a twinge of regret? Granted, he seemed unfazed about what happened to Rin (and I think he’s hinted he might have even known Ren would use her in that way and put her in harm’s way?) But I wonder if that’s only because she made it out well and alive? If she hadn’t would he have had the same reaction he had here? Its food for thought.
I also wonder what he thinks of Kureno having gotten stabbed, did he feel regret over that too? Or is he just so twisted, Kureno getting hurt actually might have pleased him?
Personally, I think this is the point where Shigure finally has, if not a change of heart, than at least a change of perspective. He literally admits to Hatori later that he has some regrets about his actions! It’s not much, but it is growth.