For just one day let’s only think about love!
We open with a musical number, which cleverly recaps all the relevant plot and character beats by acknowledging all the drama and then having Steven put his optimistic spin on things.
Mom lived in hiding by the name of Rose With the friends she'd made and the form she chose Now all that's left of her exists in me And I think that we can all agree That is a little bit upsetting I'd rather think about a wedding! Let's think about cake Let's think about flowers Let's think about dressing up and dancing around for hours There's an awful lot of awful things we could be thinking of But for just one day let's only think about love!
Because we really need a happy at this point in the story.
Funny enough, the only Gems that end up wearing dresses to the wedding are Ruby and Peridot, the ones who typically dress the least feminine – all the rest are in tuxes (except Bismuth, who opts for armored formal), but they all manage to pull it off! The switcheroo with Sapphire wearing a tux and Ruby the dress was allegedly a jab at the countries that had been censoring the show’s gayness by making Ruby male. Because like it or not, Garnet IS gay marriage.
Steven: Dearly beloved, Gems, humans, lions big and small, living gourds, Onion – we are gathered here today to celebrate Ruby and Sapphire. Two of my favorite people, who combine into one of my other favorite people! You all probably know her as Garnet. She’s their love, given form. And now it’s your turn to talk about that.
Ruby: I know this is all kind of silly – I mean, we’ve been together for five thousand seven hundred and fifty years…
Sapphire: And eight months.
Ruby: I used to think I wasn’t much good just one of me on my own, but when we’re together, it feels like it’s okay to just be me. So I want to be me with you, and not even the Diamonds will come between us! And if they try, we’ll beat em up!
Sapphire: Ruby. My future used to look like one single obvious stream, unbending til the end of time. In an instant, you pulled me from that destiny, and opened my eye to an explosion of infinite possible futures streaking across space and time, altered and obliterated by the smallest force of will! What I mean is, you changed my life. And then, I changed your life. And now, we change our lives.
What else is there to say except THESE TWO…also STEVEN…THIS SHOW…
But this is a double-length episode, and the wedding took less than ten minutes…
Garnet: What a wonderful idea. Humans found a way to make a moment’s decision last forever. I don’t need future vision to know I’ll always remember this.
Steven: I’m so glad…
Garnet: Oh no, I’m sorry. Don’t cry.
Steven: I guess seeing everyone together’s really got me choked up…wait a second. You don’t think…?
Garnet: Blue Diamond.
Yeah, it turns out “only think about love” has its drawbacks – Ronaldo, the designated lookout, was attending the wedding, and Sapphire promised not to “peek” with her future vision, so they completely forgot that the Diamonds are still after “Rose”.
Or at least Blue Diamond is after Rose – Yellow is apparently more intent on the Cluster, but fortunately, by this point Steven has totally won it over and it subsequently arm-wrestles Yellow Diamond’s ship.
Steven: Wait! There’s no reason to fight. Let me talk to her. Blue Diamond, please listen to me! I didn’t shatter Pink Diamond – Pink Diamond’s right here! It’s pretty interesting when you think about it-
Blue Diamond: Enough! You cannot fathom how much I’ve mourned, what thousands of years of grief has done to me!
To be fair, the whole Pink Diamond situation is pretty complicated to try to explain on a battlefield, let alone to someone who cared deeply about her and lost her (even if it turns out she’s not actually dead).
So Blue Diamond unleashes her wave of emotions, effectively incapacitating all the Gems…so naturally Connie jumps in and tries to stab her.
It doesn’t quite go according to plan.
Blue Diamond: I know this sword. This is the sword that shattered her! You deserve this. All of you!
She breaks the sword, but now that Steven’s forced to admit he can’t just win her over by talking, Garnet seemingly gets an idea.
Garnet: Blue Diamond!
Blue Diamond: Who are you supposed to be?
Garnet: I am the will of two Gems to care for each other, to protect each other from any threat, no matter how vast or how cruel. You couldn’t stop me five thousand seven hundred and fifty years ago, and you can’t stop me now.
Blue Diamond: It’s you – that ruby and sapphire that disrupted my court.
Garnet: This is supposed to be my day!
Blue Diamond: You hope to defeat me by clinging to my feet?
Garnet: I just needed to keep you from taking three steps to the right.
Because of course Lapis had to come back. And at least throwing a barn on her wins them time to welcome her home.
Steven: Lapis! You came back, again!
Lapis: I couldn’t stay away. If they’re gonna punish me like a Crystal Gem, I might as well be one, right? You got room for one more?
Then Lapis proceeds to display her true strength when Blue Diamond hits them with the feels again in an attempt to paralyze them (again).
Lapis: I’ve felt worse.
Then she starts attacking Blue Diamond with the ocean, which distracts her enough that the other Crystal Gems are able to launch an offensive, resulting in…Blue Diamond falling to her knees. And while the Cluster won the arm wrestling match, the main result for our heroes is that Yellow Diamond has now joined the fight on the beach, and she is both angry and much more destructive than Blue. Steven tries to talk to her, too, but needless to say it’s equally fruitless. All he gets for his trouble is knocked unconscious!
Fortunately for everyone, this isn’t nearly as bad a thing as it sounds.
Connie: Wake up, please! We’re supposed to be in this together, remember?
Steven: Connie, I’m okay.
Connie: […] Where are you? How are you doing this?
Steven: I’m not sure, but I think it’s a classic psychic ghost type situation.
Connie: Ah, of course! So what’s the plan?
Steven: The Diamonds won’t listen to me out there, but maybe I can get through to them here. They’ve got to know Pink Diamond wasn’t shattered. Please protect my body while I’m gone.
Peridot was the first one to get poofed by Yellow Diamond, and the same fate seems to befall Lapis shortly after Steven enters the psychic realm or whatever this is supposed to be. He passes by his friends en route to the Diamonds and naturally offers them each some encouragement/moral support because this is Steven (Garnet appears to be the only one to catch on to what Steven’s doing, but they’re all appreciative).
Yellow Diamond: I was wrong. I knew Pink couldn’t handle her own colony. But I gave in, and now I’m to blame for her fate.
Interestingly, it’s Yellow’s feelings of guilt that prove too difficult for Steven to break through – perhaps her self-hatred prevents her from considering anyone else.
Blue Diamond: What good will any of this do? The more I make these Gems suffer, the more I long to see you again, Pink.
Blue, on the other hand, seems to mainly be fighting because that’s what Yellow wants and she doesn’t have a better outlet for her pain.
Steven: Blue Diamond, please listen!
Blue Diamond: I felt something…someone…
Steven: It worked! I gotta get through to them. Pink isn’t gone! I can explain everything if you just stop this fighting!
Blue Diamond: There it is again.
Yellow Diamond: What are you jabbering about?
Blue Diamond: A presence. It feels like…
Yellow Diamond: Please, Blue. You’re being hysterical. Moreso than usual.
Steven: Listen, Yellow! Pink’s fate is not what you think! She faked her shattering!
Now Steven has their attention, but apparently they have a psychic attack which they aim at him (because of course they do).
Steven: Please, the fighting has to stop. We aren’t enemies, we’re family. Please listen to me. I need you to know who I am!
This could very easily have served as a finale, but there’s still a few more episodes yet this season, because big battles aren’t nearly as important as the healing that follows.
Until next time…