At long last, Connie and Steven are actually on the same page again (despite the aid of a certain clueless shipper).
We begin with Steven looking for his lost Lion, because he hasn’t seen the contrary feline since he warped Connie home.
Steven: If you see him, call me right away. He’s my only interdimensional gateway to space…and I love him.
To be fair, if my cat were a portal, I would probably want to keep it close by, too.
Then Kevin shows up suddenly with a proposition.
Kevin: I’m throwing a party at my parents’ palatial estate. All the coolest teens in Del Marva have RSVP’d, except one – the only one cooler than I am.
Steven: Are you talking about me?
Kevin: What? No! Ew. I’m talking about Stevonnie.
Steven: What? You can’t just…ugh. This is the last thing I need right now.
Kevin: Look, Stevonnie is better than me, okay? Better dancer, better driver…Stevonnie truly does not care what anyone thinks. That’s why they’re the coolest! And if I can’t be the coolest, I’ve at least gotta be seen hanging with the coolest.
Steven: Stevonnie only exists when Connie and I are together, and…we’re…I’m not coming.
Then he mentions that he already invited Connie (though how he managed to run into her is a mystery), and of course Steven changes his tune.
Steven: But she can’t stand you, why would she…wait. Did you say all of this to her, too? Does she think I’m- I’m gonna be there? Is it too late to RSVP?
Kevin: Yes. But I’ll make an exception – for Stevonnie.
Thus Steven is lured in by the promise of finally being able to see Connie again (and the implication that Connie wants to see him, too).
Then when Steven arrives, Kevin explains his motive for inviting “Stevonnie”.
Kevin: Look at these people! This is forgettable! But not for long. Every time Stevonnie shows up on the scene, everybody’s talking about it! And when Stevonnie shows up at my party, everyone’s going to be talking about this night until they’re old grandparents! And their last words to their grandchildren will be, “Kevin throws the best parties.”
Why yes, he IS pretty pathetic. And that’s the point. But of course Steven is too polite to say so.
Lion’s faces are still the best. Also Connie is rocking a Ghibli Heroine Haircut – cutting your hair short to indicate you’re a strong female character!
But this only serves to make Steven more insecure.
Steven: I haven’t seen her in so long, she looks so different…Ah! I thought she’d be here to see me, but maybe she’s just here to have a good time. Maybe she’s moved on!
Kevin: She’s moved on? Wait, did you guys break up? Can seven-year-olds even do that?
Steven: I’m fourteen-
Kevin: You didn’t tell me you guys broke up! You got a free ticket to what would’ve been the best teen party in Del Marva! But now it’s just some sad kid party getting crashed by a couple of sad kids!
At first Steven wants to just leave without even saying hi to Connie, but Kevin isn’t about to let go of his stupid plan that easily.
Steven: I’ll just go tell her how sorry I am…I-I really messed up. I was an idiot, and I-
Kevin: Woah! No no no no! Okay, kid, listen. Wouldn’t normally do this, cause you’re a pitiful kid with snot coming out of your nose, but I need those old people to whisper my name when they die, and if you don’t pull it together, you’re gonna regret it, and it’ll be Sabina all over again!
Steven: Who’s…who’s Sabina?
It’s almost worth it to see Kevin so uncomfortable. Almost.
Kevin: You can’t just dump your emotional honesty face all over her, you’re gonna freak her out!
Steven: I-I just want us to talk again!
Kevin: Exactly. But look what she’s doing! Life is good. She’s got a dog now.
Steven: And a haircut…
Kevin: Right. Your life is good, too. You don’t need to talk to her, either. You have new stuff going on.
Of course Steven buys into what Kevin’s selling, because he’s in an emotionally vulnerable place, and if nothing else Kevin’s suggesting that he doesn’t need to confront Connie (and own up to his mistakes) just yet.
He’s clearly uncomfortable with Kevin, but it’s still less uncomfortable than talking to Connie. I get the impression this is a thing that would have happened to Steven if he went to school – getting sucked into the orbit of a slightly charismatic loser.
Kevin: Hey kid, you should say hi to Connie.
Steven: So I can tell her about my feelings?
Kevin: No. Be casual. You’re showing her how you have it together. You’re not dying to talk to her because you’re not dying at all! You’re living! Make her want that life with you.
Steven: Kevin, that’s kind of moving.
Kevin: So move already. Walk over, be cool, and walk away.
Steven: Nice weather you’re wearing.
Connie: Uh, I got your texts.
Steven: Oh, yeah. I forgot about those. Because I’ve been living.
Steven: Well, back to my great life!
You poor, poor fool.
Connie: Steven, what is going on? I came here hoping we could talk, but it seems like you only want to talk to Kevin! I guess Kevin is your best friend now!
Steven & Kevin: What? No no no!
Connie: Anyway. Glad you’re doing well. That’s…all I really wanted to know.
Kevin is caught off guard by the idea that Connie and Steven were “just friends” all along (which…honestly I’d say the jury’s still out on that front), so Steven finally just opens up to Connie like he should have done in the first place.
Connie: Steven, I wasn’t trying to ignore you. I was going to text you back. I wrote “I can’t talk to you right now”. But then I realized if I sent it, that would be talking to you, and it didn’t make any sense – I wasn’t making any sense. If we were going to talk, I thought it’s got to be in person, so I rode Lion to your house, but there was a note that said “Gone vacationing”. And then I ran into Kevin and he said you’d be here, but…maybe this is still too soon. I don’t even know what to say to you. I’m angry, I miss you, I feel like I’m out of my mind!
Steven: No, you’re not. I surrendered myself to Homeworld. I let them take me away, maybe forever, and then I came back and I tried to act like it was no big deal, but it was a big deal. I couldn’t stand the thought of you being taken away on that spaceship, but then I did that to you! I promised you we’d always be a team, and…I let you down. I’m sorry. Jam buds?
That is exactly the sort of miscommunication I’d expect from a couple of middle schoolers who are just beginning to figure out relationships.
Connie: It’s so good to talk to you. I’ve been wanting to see you so bad, I accepted a party invitation from Kevin!
Steven: I know! I took his advice! I think he got his heart broken, it’s actually really sad.
Connie: Of course he did.
Then Kevin tries to make Stevonnie happen.
But Stevonnie does not care.
Connie: If it helps, Kevin, I think you threw a very nice party.
And this is the last we see of Kevin, whining about how Stevonnie won’t do what he wants (which is kinda why he claimed to admire them in the first place). Kevin just isn’t worth their time.
Next time: A much better use of Stevonnie’s time…