That’s not what I want!

Nanami is finally confronted with the end of her world, and she doesn’t like what she sees.

The episode begins with Nanami listening to yet another call on Touga’s phone, presumably to distract her from the hell she’s trapped in.

But while everyone else prepares for breakfast like usual, Nanami can’t forget what she saw last night.

And seeing Utena totally oblivious only frustrates her more.

Akio: That jam is made from rose hips Anthy raised, which are then stewed with brandy and sugar.

Utena: Wow…you’re a really great cook, Akio-san. There’s no family resemblance in that department!

Anthy: Why, thank you.

Utena: That wasn’t a compliment.

Anthy: Really?

Akio: You two crack me up.

Utena: Huh? Me, too?

Anthy: Nanami-san? Would you like some, too? It’s very good.

But then she slaps the jam away.

Utena: Nanami! What’s the big idea?! You scared Himemiya!

Nanami: I don’t want any of that jam!

Utena: Well, you don’t have to be so violent about it! Hold it! I said hold it!

Nanami: What?!

Utena: Apologize to Akio-san and Himemiya!

Nanami: Are you really that stupid?! Don’t you know what’s going on?!

Then she leaves…and Akio immediately does some damage control.

Utena: Sheesh. What’s she babbling about?

Akio: She must be terribly tormented. The trouble with her brother.

Utena: I’m sorry.

Akio: There’s no reason for you to apologize.

He’s just a frustratingly masterful manipulator, simultaneous casting doubt on Nanami’s testimony and making himself seem magnanimous. Utena probably wouldn’t be inclined to trust Nanami over Anthy and Akio in the first place (and Nanami insulting her certainly doesn’t help), but she’s also the first person to raise the alarm about Akio!

Anyhow, the first person Nanami visits is Mickey.

Mickey: So, how’re your new living arrangements?

Nanami: It’s one thing after another…

Mickey: Oh, really?

Nanami: It’s awful! I don’t want to stay another second!

Mickey: It’s so luxurious, though! Most students never even get to go inside the Chairman’s Residence. […] I envy you.

Nanami: Then, want to trade? I’ll live in your room, and you can live in the Chairman’s Residence. You’ll be able to live under the same roof as your beloved princess.

Mickey: I-I’d never even considered such a thing…!

Nanami: It’s a good idea, though.

Mickey: C-could I really?! If you’re okay with it, I’ll agree to it, too. […]

Nanami: I was kidding. (internally) A nice guy like you would be eaten alive by that bunch…it feels like I have nowhere left to go…where do I belong now…?

Because she can’t just go back to her old life, and who would believe her over the beloved Chairman? Mickey is a lot like Utena in his outlook on life, but Nanami is on friendlier terms with him. It’s not necessarily that she cares for him more, but that Utena’s already gotten herself mired in this whole mess, and if Nanami can keep Mickey (and probably Juri) out of it, she might think that’s the best she can do.

And there’s still the thing with Touga, which she feels is preventing her from just going home.

Nanami: “Because I love you! I love you, Big Brother!” I was so stupid. How can I face Big Brother now?

Touga: “You’re the only sister I’ve got. We should live to help each other, shouldn’t we?”

So she eavesdrops on him with a girl, because she feels she has no claim on him anymore.

Girl: Was someone spying on us?

Touga: There’s no one. Besides, we’re not doing anything other people shouldn’t see.

Girl: Well, if your sister spotted us together, she’d kill me.

Touga: I have no sister. […] We’re not related by blood.

Girl: I’m surprised. You always seemed like the perfect big brother.

Touga: That was just an act. My father ordered me to do it. “Treat her as well as a real sister,” he said. You think I’d associate with someone like that for any other reason? A common, boring girl like her?

Girl: You’re a scary guy. So cold-blooded.

Touga: And what will you do now?

“Girl”: It’s so wonderful! Nanami’s getting what she deserves! I have no sympathy at all!

 

And just when you’re wondering where you’ve heard that voice before, they reveal that girl is Keiko. So naturally, Nanami goes and slaps her, because old habits die hard.

Nanami: I’ll never, ever forgive you! Who said you could get close to my brother?! I hope you’re ready to face the consequences! Why did you do this?! How could you associate with a girl like her?! I know I have to accept that you go out with girls. But don’t go out with a girl like her! You deserve better than this! 

Touga: Are you implying that you’re the better choice?

Nanami: No, I…!

But since Nanami is no longer affiliated with Touga, Keiko just slaps her right back.

Keiko: A girl like what?! How are you any different from me?! Why should I need your permission to be with someone I love?! You really are a freak! I feel sick. I can barely breathe around you! Come on, let’s go somewhere else.

Touga: Nanami, sooner or later, you’ll understand.

Nanami: Wait, please! You were just kidding before, weren’t you? You didn’t really just pretend to be nice to me, right? You were just kidding me again, weren’t you?! (internally) I’m just like all the others now…Just like all the girls who swarm around him…we have nothing left to tie us together now…! Nothing!

Touga was the one person in the world she could always rely on, even if they didn’t always see eye to eye. But now he’s starting to treat her like all the other girls in his life — that is to say, disposable.

so she goes back to the chairman’s house

and for a change of pace, akio’s tormenting kanae instead of anthy (but anthy knows full well what’s going on)

Utena: So, will Kanae-san be eating with us?

Anthy: I don’t know.

Utena: Oh, well. Akio-san sure loves to look at those stars, doesn’t he?

Anthy: Yes, he does.

Utena: Nanami, you must be hungry, too.

Nanami: Not really…[…]

Anthy: I’ll make us some shaved ice.

Utena: Uh, don’t feel you have to. I think I’ll go ask him what’s up.

Anthy: No, don’t! You shouldn’t, Utena-sama. It’d be wrong to disturb them when they’re alone. Please let them enjoy their time together. Please?

Her mask slipped for a moment, because Utena’s “not ready” for the truth about Akio, but of course Nanami picks up on it.

Utena: I see. Yeah, you’re right. Sorry. You really care about your brother.

Anthy: Think nothing of it.

Nanami: (whispering) She’s just too scary…

Anthy: Oh, I am?! Think nothing of it.

And when Nanami goes to bed, she naturally interrogates Utena’s situation (and tries to get her to see the truth).

Nanami: You two sleep facing each other like this every night? That’s so weird. It’s like you’re sort of crazy dense or something…

Utena: What? You grab someone else’s bed and then complain about it…

Nanami: She’s probably glad I did. It gives those two an excuse to sleep together.

Utena: Yeah, those two really are close siblings.

You really are too dense for your own good. But I wouldn’t wish this situation on anyone, no matter how thick…

Note also that Nanami has settled on the narrative that Anthy “wants it”, probably in order to make a distinction between herself and her.

Nanami: You really are dense. No wonder you’re able to live with that pervert brother and sister.

Utena: I wish I had a sibling…one seems to always know what the other is feeling. Even you and Touga. If you don’t abandon the relationship you’ve had till now…

Nanami: Don’t compare us to those two! What do you understand?

Utena drifts off, leaving Nanami alone with her thoughts.

Touga: “It was just an act. You think I’d associate with someone like that for any other reason? A common, boring girl like her?”

And when there’s a call on Touga’s phone, Chu-Chu picks up, and it initially seems like just another of Touga’s girlfriends.

Girl: Hello? Hello? It’s me! It’s me! I’m lonely and can’t sleep! Please, let me hear your voice.

Nanami: Do you know what time it is, you idiot? Who is this? Tell me your name!

Akio: End of the world. Touga Kiryuu is waiting.

So she heads back to Touga’s house.

Touga: Hello, Nanami. Welcome home.

Nanami: Look, there’s something I want to ask you. […] Big Brother…do you know who End of the World is?

Touga: Why do you ask?

Nanami: Because I still love you, Big Brother. No matter how you feel about me…but I know we can never go back to the way we used to be. That’s why I requested a transfer today. I don’t intend to see you anymore. So there’s one last thing I want to know! About the real you…

but of course he intercepted her transfer request

Touga: There…can’t you hear it? If your soul has not truly given up, then you can hear the sound that races through the End of the World! Come! Come with us! Follow us to the world you seek!

And she immediately recognizes Akio, but she can’t very well back out when he just drove his care through the window…

Nanami: Who is this guy?!

Touga: You shouldn’t have to ask. You know perfectly well he’s the Chairman of Ohtori Academy.

Nanami: That’s not what I meant!

Touga: Then what?

Nanami: This man isn’t normal.

Touga: In what way?

Nanami: I saw him…! […] He was…I can’t say it! It’s too awful…

Touga likely knows full well what’s going on, but he wants to make Nanami as uncomfortable as possible. And then Akio laughs.

Nanami: What’s so funny?!

Akio: What do you see with your eyes? Merely your own world…

I mean, if he means that this is the path she’s been dancing on all her life with her brother complex, he’s not wrong.

Nanami: What did you say?!

Akio: The world you perceive. The world in which you exist. A world like a labyrinth with no way out, where you are doomed by your limited point of view to endlessly wander the same path. But what you truly need to see does not lie there.

Nanami: What is he talking about?

then touga kisses her, and she shoves him away

Touga: Isn’t that what you always wanted?

It might have been what she thought she wanted at some point, but the reality wasn’t what she expected.

Touga: We aren’t really brother and sister.

Nanami: That’s not what I want!

Touga: Then what?! What is it you want?!

Akio: I reveal the End of the World. To you now, as well.

She wants to go back to the way things were, just like all the previous Duelists in this arc. But unlike the others, Nanami has always been content to allow her fate to be guided by others — and this is when she realizes that the people controlling her life (namely, men) don’t always have her best interests at heart.

So the next day, she tries to take her fate into her own hands.

Keiko: Well, well, if it isn’t Nanami. You want something from us? I’ll warn you, though, things will be different from now on. We have no reason at all to follow your orders anymore. What a waste! Brown-nosing, kissing up, doing your bidding! It pisses me off to just think about it! Well, starting today, it’s payback time. I hope you’re ready for it. What the hell is that look for?!

by beating up her lackeys to establish dominance

so that they can resume beating up on anthy

Utena: Himemiya! What’s the big deal, Nanami?!

Nanami: I’m not like her!

Utena: What are you talking about?

Nanami: Today, after school! In the Dueling Arena!

Significantly, Utena disregards her so much that she only agrees after they essentially hold Chu-Chu hostage.

The Shadow Play is more of an anecdote that anything else, about not believing things right in front of your face, which could just as easily be aimed at Nanami as Utena.

Still, allow me to take a little detour to discuss the title. The fairy tale it seems to be alluding to is sometimes called “The Twelve Dancing Princesses”, which tells the story of twelve royal sisters (?) who manage to escape their quarters to dance all night with twelve princes. Since the title refers to more than one girl, and the tale is generally only focused on the “romance” of one girl who ends up marrying the guy who managed to catch them, it seems to be referring to the princes the girls would have their nightly dances with. After the princesses are caught, they never see those princes again, and the boys subsequently forget all about them. If it’s meant to apply to Nanami, it’s probably about how she loses her relationship with her brother through no fault of her own.

And to top it all off, Utena immediately assumes that Touga put Nanami up to this.

Touga: Nanami has come here of her own free will.

Utena: You call yourself a brother?!

Touga: Nanami isn’t really my sister. You know that, right? You shouldn’t interfere in the business of others. Right, Nanami?

Nanami: Yes. What I want is to surpass everything. If I beat you in a duel, then I’ll surpass my brother, the person I was, everything…

Utena: You fool…

Because Utena sees what Nanami doesn’t in this case: Touga’s just manipulating her into wanting to challenge Utena.

The perspective of the palace of natural brethren
Imagined reality. Copied form.
Natural fantasy.
Sorcery, aesthetics, astronomy.
Me, you, the study of our nature.
Saturn's orbit a circumscribed Platonic sphere.

This song’s a little difficult to parse, but the allusion to something “Platonic” is clearly significant. That’s what Nanami really wants — a platonic bond with her brother, not having to worry about sex (either drawing him away from her or to her).

And these two observe their partners, knowing the full picture (or pretty close to it), but hiding it from them.

Nanami: It’s meaningless…my brother was a part of who I was…I truly believed…I was sure there was a bond between Big Brother and me. But there was nothing…nothing at all!

Utena: Did there have to be one? Whatever the form, as long as the feelings are there…

Nanami: Believe that if you want! I know where those feelings lead!

It’s unclear if they’re saying these things aloud or not (maybe they had this conversation before the fight?), but what’s important are the sentiments here.

but we all know how this ends

Utena: Do you feel better now?

Nanami: Tell me…what’s left for me? Am I just one fly in the swarm? Anything but that…!

Because she has nothing now, not even Touga, because he’s renounced her claim on him as a brother.

Speaking of which…

he’s banging akio again

Akio: Are you ever going to tell Nanami-kun the truth?

Touga: I’m not sure.

Akio: But you are brother and sister by blood, right?

Touga: Yes. We were both taken in by the Kiryuu family. Nanami was still a baby when it happened.

Akio: You should clear up the misunderstanding quickly.

Touga: But I find the idea of a brother and sister not related by blood much more romantic, don’t you?

Akio: Such an awful brother…

So now, Nanami’s left with a brother who’s rejected her, and knowing about what’s going on with Akio and being unable to stop it. But she doesn’t understand just how similar her situation is to Anthy’s. The only difference is that Touga still has some concern for her wishes, however small.

and it’s only getting worse

next time