I want to be an adult now.

We turn our attention toward the youngest character in the cast as we begin our musings on the nature of adulthood.

And of course, a drawback to the open-air student council “room” is that you need to worry about rain.

Mickey: Somewhere we don’t know about, new Duelists have begun to act.

Juri: We’ve been abandoned, haven’t we?

Mickey: End of the World may have another idea.

Nanami: What are you talking about?! We in the student council control what goes on here at school! There isn’t a lot of room here for any newcomers!

Mickey: It isn’t that simple…

Juri: You’re right.

Nanami: Why are you guys so serious about this? Hold it…Juri-senpai, did they get you, too? Oh, God! Really? S-so, what was it like? Did it hurt?

We begin the episode with a conversation about control, or lack thereof. In the past, I’ve described “becoming an adult” as growing from feeling like you’ll be in control when you’re older to realizing that you never really will, and all three of them are feeling the lack of control at the moment, thanks partly to the Black Rose Duelists and partly to the lack of guidance from End of the World.

And then Tsuwabuki comes in to remind Nanami about her schedule (as he does).

Tsuwabuki: Um…

Mickey: Only council members are allowed up here.

Nanami: Oh, but don’t I happen to be council president now?

Juri: In any case, you’d better watch your back.

Mickey: We’re at a disadvantage as long as our opponent remains hidden.

Nanami: What’s with those two?

Tsuwabuki: Nanami-san! What was that all about?

Nanami: It’s not your concern, Tsuwabuki. It’s adult talk.

And then there’s (Mitsuru) Tsuwabuki, whom no one even deigns fit to explain the situation to.

Then we cut to Utena and Anthy, who happen to see Tsuwabuki walking with Nanami to class.

Utena: Tsuwabuki-kun follows her everywhere! I wouldn’t last three days doing all the stuff he has to!

Anthy: I’m sure he does it because he enjoys it.

Utena: You really think so? Well, I hope she appreciates it.

And this recalls Tsuwabuki’s first episode, when Saionji commented that sometimes it’s enough to just be around the object of your affection, no matter how poorly they treat you.

But his friend Mari disagrees.

Mari: She doesn’t appreciate you at all, does she? You’re so wrong about all this!

Tsuwabuki: Oh, it’s you, Mari.

Mari: You carry her things, arrange her schedule, run errands for her…! You’re not her manager! Do you think you can make a girl like you just by being nice?

Tsuwabuki: No, that never works.

Mari: So why do it?

Tsuwabuki: I’m happy to just be near Nanami-san.

Mari: You’re so twisted! You really need to get into a more normal relationship!

Tsuwabuki: Don’t be such a know-it-all! You’re only a year older than me!

Mari: One year is still one year more mature!

Tsuwabuki: You’re no different from me!

Mari: What’s that mean?!

Tsuwabuki: Well, your body sure isn’t mature yet!

Mari: Jerk!

And she naturally slaps him for that last remark! On some level, Mari probably does sense that his relationship with Nanami as weird (and definitely one-sided), but she’s probably also jealous of how much time he spends with her. It’s been said that girls often mature faster than boys, but I think that’s mostly because we have to. All I’m saying is that tween boys aren’t commonly objectified by society.

He dismisses Mari as an “old friend” when Nanaim asks about her, but that mainly leads Nanami to express concern about his own school life.

Nanami: Look, Tsuwabuki, don’t you have any friends?

Tsuwabuki: Friends?

Nanami: You’re always coming over to the middle school, so…

Tsuwabuki: Does it bother you?

Nanami: That’s not what I’m saying. You’re a kid, but you don’t act very cute.

Tsuwabuki: I…I just like being with you, Nanami-san.

Nanami probably wants Tsuwabuki to have a normal childhood, too, as she seems to ship him with Mari (and they already tried the boyfriend thing, too, before they settled on whatever this arrangement is).

Mari greets him when he gets back to the dorm, and steals a chocolate bar.

Tsuwabuki: Hey! Don’t just take other peoples’ food without asking!

Mari: No matter how much you do for her, she’s just going to use you up and leave you.

Tsuwabuki: Why do you think that?

Mari: Woman’s intuition. She’s like a black widow spider. Spinning her web and drawing you in bit by bit!

Tsuwabuki: You just don’t know Nanami-san’s good points.

Mari: I know her type! It’s woman’s intuition! And that girl’s pure Black Widow!

Tsuwabuki: If she just eats this, I’ll be satisfied.

He happens to be holding a banana when he says that, and he clearly means that he wants Nanami to eat the whole lunch he makes her, but evidently Mari’s mind is already in the gutter.

Mari: That’s dirty!

Tsuwabuki: What’s dirty about it?!

Mari: You’ll understand when you’re older!

Tsuwabuki: Hey, you forgot this [chocolate].

Mari: Eat it yourself!

Tsuwabuki: Do adults even eat chocolate? An indirect kiss…

Of course, adults can enjoy chocolate, too (especially on certain occasions), but Tsuwabuki’s just hung up on the idea of “indirectly” kissing a girl…

Then he’s eager to give Nanami the lunch he made her…

But she’s busy with more “adult” matters.

Tsuwabuki: Uh, your lunch…?

Nanami: Not today, thanks. This is the guy who runs the Mikage Seminar.

Mikage: Good afternoon.

Nanami: I’m really flattered to be asked to join the seminar.

Mikage: It’s my pleasure. Asking you was worth it.

Nanami: If I can be any use to you at all…

Mikage: Come on. Let’s have some lunch, and we can discuss this in more detail. […] You can visit the seminar as well, if you wish.

Nanami: Never mind him. Tsuwabuki’s just a child, after all. Let’s go!

And this is what really gets Tsuwabuki thinking, when Nanami turns down his lunch in favor of more “adult talk”.

Notably, Nanami and Mickey are the only Duelists Mikage considers. He only seemed to court Mickey before he settled on his method of getting other people to wield their swords, but as I mentioned earlier, Nanami does have a lot in common with the Black Rose Duelists, and would be a realistic contender for getting to Touga.

And then Tsuwabuki runs into Utena while he’s researching how to become an adult.

Tsuwabuki: Utena-san, what does it mean to be an “adult”?

Utena: Huh? What does it mean…? W-well, a lot of stuff goes into it, but…I think being an adult mostly means you have experience in certain things.

Tsuwabuki: “Certain things”? So, if I get experience in certain things, I’ll be an adult?

Utena: Um, I guess…

Tsuwabuki: Have you done those things, Utena-san?

Utena: Um, well…

Anthy: There are a lot of adult things about us. Right, Utena-sama?

Apparently, Anthy’s line was translated as “we do adult things” in the dub, which makes sense, especially since Anthy outright says in the preview of the last episode that she considers herself an adult (which we’ll circle back around to later in the series).

But this line of questioning naturally prompts Utena to think about adulthood herself.

and of course she goes to akio to talk it out

Utena: Is dreaming about my prince weird? No, I mean…a younger student asked me about the difference between children and adults. I was wondering which one I am.

Akio: What do you think you are?

Utena: I dunno. I never really wondered what the difference was before he asked.

Akio: With each passing year, a star loses some of its brilliance. Perhaps, you can also say people are like that, too.

Utena: Aren’t you shining at your brightest, Mr. Chairman? What with your pretty wife and all.

Akio: Perhaps.

someone please put this man on a list

Meanwhile, Mikage and Mamiya are discussing their next victim Duelist.

Mamiya: Have you decided on the next Duelist?

Mikage: The deeply jealous queen and her retainer…

Mamiya: He’s just a boy.

Mikage: A tough bud until yesterday, but with a little encouragement, he’ll burst open easily.

Mamiya: You’re a terrible man…

Mikage: Beauty alone will not get us the Rose Bride.

Meanwhile, Tsuwabuki’s watching movie kisses, when which Mari interrupts.

Tsuwabuki: I just need experience, and then I’ll be an adult…

Mari: What are you doing?

Tsuwabuki: What, you again?

Mari: What are you doing?!

Tsuwabuki: Seeing certain things. So I can be an adult.

Mari: Watching a bunch of things will make you an adult?

Tsuwabuki: Yeah. [Mari laughs] You’ve really been trying to depress me lately! Why do you keep bugging me?

Mari: Why are you trying to copy other people? A guy who’s had one real kiss is more of an adult than someone who’s watched a hundred kiss scenes!

Tsuwabuki: One real kiss…

Mari: This is gonna end badly. You’re not stupid, but you’re doing this all weird. You have to practice. Don’t you know that?

and of course he thinks that mari’s volunteering

Mari: You’re such a jerk! No sense of subtlety! You really are a child!

Then she slaps him again, and Nanami sees her running away (and Tsuwabuki exiting afterward).

This brings up another disparity, the distinction between “adulthood” and “maturity”. Plenty of people who are legally adults lack maturity, and some kids are forced to be mature. Boys can more often away with immaturity long into adulthood, because they aren’t so fundamentally connected with their children.

Anyhow, he returns to his room and contemplates all that he’s learned.

Nanami: “Never mind him. Tsuwabuki’s just a child, after all.”

Utena: “I think being an adult mostly means you have experience in certain things.”

Anthy: “There are a lot of adult things about us. Right, Utena-sama?”

Notably, the first two comments are framed with yellow roses (which could either signify his jealousy of the “adults” or his adoration for them), but Anthy’s line has red ones. He’s clearly not in love with Anthy (he’s already got both Mari and Nanami to reckon with), so it seems to be about his self-image, or what he wants to be.

Then he finally throws Mari’s chocolate in the trash, alongside the lunch box that Nanami rejected, signifying both the girls who have rejected him for his lack of maturity…

But then Nanami comes knocking, asking what he was doing with Mari.

Nanami: I knew it! What were you doing with that “old friend” of yours? Tsuwabuki…you like that girl, don’t you?!

Tsuwabuki: So what if I do? I’m still really small. I can’t eat bitter things. That seminar’s too hard for me to join, and even Mari’s been giving me a hard time lately, saying “You’re a kid, so you don’t understand.” Why couldn’t I have been born the same year as you? I want to be an adult now. I want to do all the fun things that adults can do…

Nanami: Don’t be silly. You don’t have to be an adult. You’re fine the way you are right now.

But that’s the last straw for him, since he wants to “catch up” with these girls, but Mari tells him to grow up while Nanami tells him to be content with his childhood, and things are going on around him that he wants to control, or at least learn more about.

So he heads over to Nemuro Hall, because Mikage offered him a chance at doing an “adult” thing with the seminar…

Tsuwabuki: The truth is, this is about Nanami-san. She’s so pretty and dependable. I’ve always looked up to her. She really works me hard, yet just being with her used to make me happy. But now…but now…

Mikage: Deeper…go deeper…

Tsuwabuki: Just…just being with her isn’t enough for me anymore. It’s even like that with Mari now! My old friend’s been really bugging me lately. They both keep making fun of me! They laugh at me for being a kid! I want to be an adult! I want to be an adult and just kick over the whole world! Wreck it all! Wreck it all! I want to wreck everything!

and naturally, mikage encourages this incel energy

So Tsuwabuki summons Nanami to the same film screening, now that he actually has power over her…

Nanami: Tsuwabuki? What’d you call me here for? Why are you just sitting there, Tsuwabuki? Say something!

Tsuwabuki: Sure. Sit down, please.

Nanami: Oh, what’s this all about…?

Nanami: H-hold it! Hands off now, Tsuwabuki!

and then she notices his ring

This episode and the last particularly evoke the idea of sexual assault in the sword-summoning – both Tsuwabuki and Shiori realized they had power over the Duelist, and exerted that power in an intimate act of violence. Tsuwabuki in particular is coded as a boy finally realizing what power he has over any girl, even one older than him. Nanami always thought he was “safe”, but it was only a matter of time before something like this happened.

Tsuwabuki: And with this, I will be an adult…

And naturally, the Shadow Play is about different measures of adulthood as well.

Girl: I was really nervous, but I have no regrets about it!

Doctor: She seemed very determined for her first time.

Girl: I guess I had to be brave, but my proof of adulthood wasn’t that hard. And I got a glass of juice for my trouble!

Father: Huh? What are you talking about?

Girl: Donating blood, of course!

Utena: You can give blood when you’re sixteen.

Girl: Proof of adulthood!

This naturally raises the specter of what many consider “proof of adulthood,” but has been lurking in the background the whole episode: Having sex.

And for his duel, there are clay figures holding Mari’s chocolate bar, the “indirect kiss” Tsuwabuki was too scared to take, taunting him as he fights to attain adulthood.

Philosophical existence.
The realm of the Grand Guignol of common magic.
A normal sigh. A heavy sigh. A labored sigh.
A grieving sigh. A pleasured sigh.
A collection of sighs. A container of sighs.
A magnifying lens.
A heavy sigh. A normal sigh.
A labored sigh. A grieving sigh.
A pleasured sigh. A heavy sigh.
A normal sigh. A labored sigh.
A grieving sigh. A pleasured sigh.

And the theme song is also clearly evoking sex. The Grand Guignol was a theater known for its visceral horror stage plays, which would probably only be attended by adults…

Utena: Tsuwabuki-kun! Snap out of it! You and I have no reason to fight!

Tsuwabuki: I will be an adult! […] Experience alone doesn’t make you an adult! With that experience, a child must defeat an adult to become one himself!

He’s come to believe that it’s power over others that will make him an adult…which does neatly fit into the philosophy and structures of patriarchy, but is a poor definition of adulthood in my opinion.

And because the thing that made Nanami dangerous was her disregard for the rules of the duel, Tsuwabuki doesn’t pose much of a problem for Utena once she takes her opponent seriously.

But unlike with the previous Black Rose Duelists, Nanami can’t act like nothing happened when Tsuwabuki was so involved with her daily life, but betrayed her trust.

And Tsuwabuki is different now, too.

Tsuwabuki: Good morning, Nanami-senpai!

Nanami: Oh…good morning.

Tsuwabuki: Something wrong?

Nanami: N-no. It’s nothing.

Mari: Tsuwabuki! Get a move on or you’ll be late!

Tsuwabuki: That girl…See you!

Calling her “senpai” (and going after Mari instead of her) seems to indicate he wants to distance himself from her (although this isn’t the last episode where his relationship with Nanami is featured). He has grown up a bit, no longer relying on Nanami to give his life purpose.

Until next time…