Although this is ostensibly about Greg, Rose gets some subtle development as well.

SU 94-1

It all begins when Steven asks how Greg started working at the car wash, and as soon as he realizes the story involves Rose, he makes a dash for the guitar.

Steven: Don’t tell me, sing me!

Greg: You rascal! Can I ever tell you a story without working in a song again?

Steven: I’m playing it by ear.


SU 94-2

Look at everything you are
Look at everything you do
It’s incredible, as incredible as you
And me
I guess I’m content to be
On the arm of someone who
Is as incredible as you

SU 94-3

I always did believe
That love is all you need
To be a happy man
That may have been naive
I guess I need to eat
That wasn’t in the plan

And it’s a full time job admiring
All the ways that you’re inspiring
If I had my way
I’d do it all day
The only problem is it doesn’t pay
I think I need a little change

SU 94-5

The opening montage does a great job of setting the stage – all Greg really cares about at this point is fawning over Rose, but she has saving the world stuff to do, and while she’s away, Greg…is kind of a bum.  And completely broke.  So he decides to mooch off Vidalia.

SU 94-6

And judging by Sour Cream’s age, this must be something like a year after they met.

Vidalia: Doesn’t your magical girlfriend know how to cook?

Greg: Nah, Rose doesn’t really need to eat. But I do.

Vidalia: So, have you done anything lately, besides worship everything she does?

Greg: I’ve been working on some songs for my new album.

Vidalia: Oh, the same new album you’ve been working on for six months?

I honestly can’t blame Vidalia for picking Amethyst over him.  He’s kind of a loser at this point.

SU 94-7

Greg: Where’d you get that shirt?

Vidalia: T-shirt shop.

Greg: You bought that?

Vidalia: No, it’s my uniform. I work there starting today.

Greg: You sold out, V.

Vidalia: Gotta grow up sometime.

Yeah, having a baby is a pretty good time to suck it up and get a job.  I’m guessing Vidalia had some financial support from her family, but she appears to be strapped for cash, too, considering that she resorts to eating baby food.

Then her babysitter bails, so she recruits Greg as a replacement.

SU 94-8

Vidalia: If anything bad happens to my kid, you better pray your space goddess’ magic can bring people back from the dead because I will destroy you.

I kind of love Vidalia.

SU 94-9

Rose is predictably fascinated by the tiny human and it’s kind of adorable.

Rose: You wouldn’t believe how long it took me to figure out that this, and you, are the same thing.

Greg: What do you mean?

Rose: You’re both human! You have to admit it’s a little confusing. You’re big and can talk, and he’s small and can only make noises. How was I supposed to know you were the same species?

SU 94-10

Rose: I know, it’s silly. But then I started to notice that you grow. […] When a Gem is made, it’s for a reason. They burst out of the ground already knowing what they’re supposed to be, and then, that’s what they are, forever. But you, you’re supposed to change! You’re never the same, even moment to moment you’re allowed and expected to invent who you are. What an incredible power, the ability to grow up.

Evidently that’s why she loves humans, and it seems safe to assume that she envies their ability to change because she herself felt trapped by the person she was expected to be.

Then Greg’s struck by artistic inspiration, so he runs off to get his guitar and leaves Rose to watch Sour Cream.  It turns out she’s very good at watching a baby, but not so good at recognizing dangerous situations for humans.

Rose: Oh, I watched him. I watched him climb all the way up there! Isn’t it exciting? This’ll be a formative experience for him!

Greg: Not if he falls!

SU 94-11

But it turns out Greg needs a little help after climbing all the way up there, too.

Greg: Why did you let him climb that thing?

Rose: He wanted to.

Greg: Well Rose, you can’t just let him do whatever he wants!

Rose: But you do whatever you want and you’re fine.

Greg: Yeah, but I’m not a baby! I don’t need someone to feed me or change my clothes, I don’t need someone to save me when I climb onto a ferris wheel…aw man, I am a baby.

SU 94-12

It seems Rose hates to place limits on anyone, not realizing that some rules are necessary for humans, considering their physical limitations…and considering how little SHE knew about babies, it makes complete sense that the Gems who haven’t studied humans for ages wouldn’t be all that helpful in raising one.

Greg: Listen, Vidalia, um, thanks for the food and everything else. Today has been quite a journey.

Vidalia: Okay…your shirt’s clean. You want it back, or are you just gonna go for a topless stroll?

Greg: Hey, we all gotta grow up sometime, right?

Vidalia: That’s not really relevant to my question…

SU 94-13

Steven: Wow, and you’ve worked here ever since!

Greg: That’s right! You know, people grow whether they want to or not, but growing up is something you gotta decide to do.

I’m not sure if I agree with how they seem to conflate “growing up” with “getting a job”, especially since the way they show it, all you have to do is decide to work and just take your pick of the thriving local businesses, which, shall we say, has never been my experience.  By that metric, a lot of people end up backtracking on the whole “growing up” thing…but I suppose that’ll happen however you choose to measure it.

Until next time…

One thought on “Greg the Babysitter

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