This episode sees Amethyst taking the stage in a different manner than before: Cool Mom Amethyst.

They’re taking their time resolving the conflict between Garnet and Pearl, and like most major events in the series, said resolution (or lack thereof) has a widespread impact.  This episode focuses on Amethyst, who has actually been pretty supportive of Pearl in the aftermath, even though the situation is at least as painful for her as it has been for Steven.  Even though Pearl would often side with Garnet against her in the past, I imagine that’s actually why Amethyst has been supportive – she knows how much harder it is when you feel isolated.  But there’s only so much she can do, and it seems Garnet and Pearl haven’t made much progress.

Enter the Onion.

Steven: ONION!

Steven chases him all the way into town and into what appears to be his garage…where he’s confronted with a bizarre variety of paintings of Amethyst.  So he naturally takes Amethyst to investigate.  And the owner of said garage comes out with a shotgun.

Amethyst: Vidalia?

Vidalia: Amethyst? It’s been years!

Amethyst: Man, you’ve changed. You look terrible!

Vidalia: You look the same – terrible!

The Crystal Gems just seem to attract the hippie artsy types.

Steven: How do you know each other?

Amethyst: Oh, we both kinda hung around your dad, but Vidalia’s cooler than your dad, so we started hanging out without him.

Vidalia: Is that Steven? Look at him! He looks just like Greg. That’s good, that’s good! He used to be super hot.

All the awkwardness of a parent’s old friend without the parent to mitigate it!

It turns out Vidalia is Onion’s mom (and also Sour Cream’s, because someone was feeling punny), and Onion (apparently) suggests having them stay for dinner, an invitation which Amethyst is far more eager to accept than Steven (since, y’know, Onion is creepy).

Amethyst: I can’t believe how long it’s been! I mean, check [Sour Cream] out – I used to be bigger than him. Do you ever hear from old Farty Marty?

Vidalia: I don’t know where that fool is! Don’t care, either. It’s just been me and Yellowtail for a while now.

Amethyst: What? Yellowtail?

Vidalia: Yeah. Things just kinda happened. Next thing you know, I’m living with a fisherman.

Why yes, it is THAT Marty they’re talking about, Greg’s awful manager, and yes, he is Sour Cream’s dad.  I’m honestly surprised that kid turned out as well as he did.

Steven wants to cut and run, but Amethyst is enjoying the reunion, so instead he gets stuck hanging out with Onion, who has a weird fixation on Steven…although meeting his mom at least clears up a couple of lingering questions.

Vidalia: Whenever Sour Cream starts DJing, it uses up all the electricity in the house. Good thing Yellowtail’s not here – it drives him nuts.

Amethyst: Dude, your house is jacked.

Vidalia: What can you do? Kids gotta express themselves. You too, Onion. Very expressive.

Considering that Vidalia expresses her admiration for Amethyst by painting her, Onion’s thing about Steven is a bit more understandable.

But then Onion takes Steven up to his room and sanity goes out the window.

Steven: Why don’t you just jump up and down on that trampoline? I mean, it’s like, right there…but it’s your room, so do whatever you want.

And apparently Onion just has a tape of his mother giving birth to him lying around that he likes to watch, and there are just too many WHY.  Then after Onion reveals a secret passageway in his wall, Steven finally gives up.

Steven: Okay, I’m out, can’t do this anymore, need to go home.

But it turns out Amethyst’s busy having some quality time with Vidalia, and Steven doesn’t have the heart to intrude.

Amethyst: Like, I’ve never seen Garnet this upset. It’s awful at home. I feel trapped.

Vidalia: That’s crazy! I know what you mean, though.

Amethyst: You do?

Vidalia: Hey, we don’t always get along in this family. Yellowtail and Sour Cream are always at each other’s throats, it makes me nuts. Actually, when I get like that, I think about you, and how you could always just roll with it.

Amethyst: What? No! That was you! You were so…cool. I was just, like, a dumb sponge following you around.

Vidalia: But you were down for anything, not afraid of anything. You know how much I wanted to be like you? I still think about it. To be honest, that’s why I started painting you again. I’m- I’m inspired by you, Amethyst.

Every woman needs a little teatime in her life, and a good friend to commiserate with.  It’s easy to forget, but even though she’s younger than Garnet and Pearl, she’s still a lot closer to them in age than she is to Steven – the reason she hangs out with him so much is that he’s the only one in the “family” who consistently treats her with respect.  She really needed a friend like this, especially now that Pearl and Garnet are so consumed with their own problems.

So Steven grudgingly decides to put up with Onion a bit longer, for Amethyst.

Steven: Okay, Onion. Let’s do this. Whatever weird or horrible thing you have planned for me, I can take it.

It turns out the dark passageway actually leads somewhere legitimately nice – a room where Onion keeps his stash of GUYS and GALS.  This episode does a decent job of making Onion feel like an actual kid for once – a weird, possibly psychotic kid, but a kid.  Still not entirely sure if I believe that he’s human, though…

Amethyst: Um, thanks for dinner. And for listening.

Vidalia: Well, thanks for breaking into my house! And don’t worry about that other stuff – it’s gonna blow over. You’re a rock! That’s what you are, right?

Amethyst: Eh, something like that.

Until next time…