The Sohmas are finally adjusting to their new way of life, but there are still plenty of mixed feelings about Akito.

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First of all, Kyo and Tohru are finally officially a couple and this is their response to teasing about it from their classmates:

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Those two are so precious and will make each other very happy.

In other news, Yuki and Kyo are still kind of figuring out how to feel about Akito’s little gender reveal.

Yuki: I was speechless, you know?

Kyo: Honestly, I was more surprised that you could keep a secret like that.

Tohru: […] Was it a shock to you too?

Yuki: A “shock”?…I guess. Well, anyway…I was dumbstruck…Sorry, I can’t really explain it well, because so much has happened…

Kyo: As for me, I didn’t know it at the time, but I still can’t believe I was so violent to a girl. But…I was also a little relieved. […] How can I put it? The last thing I wanted was yet another guy interested in you.

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I can honestly understand Kyo’s sentiments – especially since Takaya-sensei has said that Akito probably would have ended up with Tohru had she actually been male.

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Kyo-kun smiles a lot more now, that’s for sure. And I’ve come to realize that this is his true self. I can tell that everyone around us is drawn to Kyo-kun even more now that he’s like this. It’s a miracle.

Without the Curse and all its baggage, Kyo and Yuki are obviously a lot more chill, both in general and toward each other (although Kyo also credits the beatdown Yuki handed him for their improved relationship).

Tohru: That’s…right…[…] I have to get serious about…job hunting…

Kyo: Hey. Do you…wanna…? […] Nah. Never mind. I’ll talk to you about it…later. More importantly, looking for a job is all well and good, but it’s summer vacation! So let’s, just the two of us, go places. A lot of places.

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It’s a miracle that I can be with Kyo-kun like this. I want to make the effort so that this miracle can continue forever and ever. Because walking together, hand in hand, isn’t something I’ll ever take for granted.

Kyo and Tohru head over to visit Master-san, who is content to have set up Kyo for a happy life (and also looking forward to grandkids). But it turns out Rin’s still been living at his place…

Kyo: What’s eating her…?

Kazuma: Not everyone is in the same situation. She’s been through a lot.

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Rin: How can you act like nothing ever happened? She did all kinds of nasty stuff to Kyo. And she hurt you a lot too. Those wounds will never disappear, will they!? If..if I…had to decide whether to forgive or not, then I wouldn’t forgive her. I can’t forgive…! I’m not saying I want her to get down on her knees and beg for it. I wouldn’t even know what to do if she did actually apologize. It’s not like that. It’s not about that…Does that make me the bad guy? Is that so wrong? How is everyone else okay with this? Why is it…that no matter what I do…this mess in my heart won’t go away?

Rin’s lost a lot because of Akito and the Curse – she has no family to return to (like Momiji), but more importantly she’s lost so much of herself and had no opportunity to heal.  Akito wasn’t the only person who abused her, and that alone makes things more complicated.

She’s been through a lot, and many things are over now. But so much pain remains. Wounds like that won’t just suddenly be wiped away like magic. All of them might be hiding pain deep in their hearts…pain they don’t want others to see.

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Tohru: Isuzu-san…it’s not wrong. And I’m so thankful that you’re feeling this pain for me in my stead. I’m so thankful…

Rin: Haru…he’s probably disappointed in me, huh? Seems like this is all I can talk about these days. He must hate me by now…

Of course, Tohru (and the reader) knows that Haru’s feelings for her would never change over something like that, but it’s telling that Rin still thinks like that.  That’s the kind of damaged thinking that grew from an unstable childhood and flourished with Akito’s abuse.

I think they’ll need time. A whole lot of time.

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Head Maid: Being young must be nice. It seems you have no problem changing course…you have drive and stamina too. I, on the other hand…I was born in the Sohma compound and have lived here all my life. Life outside these walls is a complete mystery to me…but I…now that I’ve reached this age, it’s too late. I’ve spent forty years…fifty years…sixty years…building my life here. It’s too late for me to change it now. I can’t change it. I’m just too old for this.

Akito: It’s impossible for me to change everything. That’s okay. Just a little bit at first is fine. If you reach out to me like you let me reach out to you…

The maid rejects Akito’s overtures.  She refuses to accept the person Akito has become, and as a person who practically raised her, that hurts all the more.

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The idea that everything will be right as rain by tomorrow or the day after is a sad lie. The vision of everyone feeling good and beaming with joy is still a far-off dream. But no matter how many years or decades it takes, I want to reach that goal. I want to keep working at it without giving up. And if one day they’ll be able to smile freely, that will make me the happiest of all.

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Until next time…

 

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2 thoughts on “Chapter 133: A Far-Off Dream

  1. Still salty we never got a final confrontation between Akito and Ren but I guess her talk with that old maid was sufficient enough and got the message across.

    AHH RINNN ❤ I just wanna give her a hug, she's my fave female character in the series and I'm so glad Takaya didn't allow her to just up and forgive Akito, it would have been extremely demeaning to her character and all she went through. I wonder how she's gonna deal with Tohru being so close to Akito now though? That's gotta be awkward… I wonder if Tohru has any idea yet what exactly was done to Rin when she was away and would that change her feelings on befriending her?

    Like

  2. Honestly, a confrontation with Ren would’ve been pretty predictable and very unsatisfying :/

    Tohru may not know the details about what went on between Akito and Rin, but she knows enough of Akito’s past herself. She chose to forgive because that’s easier for her than holding a grudge. And I’m sure Rin just sees that as an unfortunate habit for Tohru xD They’ve figured out how to disagree on stuff like that and still be friends.

    Like

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