Rin’s caught in a vulnerable position at Shigure’s house (she’s in bed for 95% of the chapter), so naturally Tohru wants to look after her – but Rin doesn’t want help, especially from Tohru.

FB 80-1

I don’t like her. I don’t want to get near her.

Apparently after she threw up, she fainted, then transformed.  They called Hatori while Rin was sleeping.

Hatori: Isuzu. We’re taking you to the hospital. It’s better to be safe than sorry.

Rin: No…I’m not going. I hate hospitals! […] Let go of me! Stop worrying about me…

FB 80-2

I totally understand a dislike of hospitals – when you don’t have someone you trust around to make decisions while you’re unconscious or otherwise unable to speak up for yourself, it can be downright terrifying (not to mention generally uncomfortable).

Shigure: Rin. Why don’t you at least learn to take care of yourself? Especially if you don’t want people to worry about you, it’s a must. And that way, we won’t have to babysit you.

She calms down a bit, and Hatori agrees to let Rin rest there for another day before trying to get her to a hospital. But when he finally gets some time alone with Shigure, Hatori cuts right to the point.

FB 80-3

Hatori: Isuzu came to see you, didn’t she?

Shigure: That’s right. For some reason, she’s desperate to find a way to break our Zodiac curse all on her own.

Hatori: She’s serious?

Shigure: Apparently. And she suspects me of knowing the method, so she’s dropped by from time to time.

Hatori: That’s…absurd.

Shigure: Yeah…”absurd”. But…is it really? Hatori, you can’t hear it?

FB 80-4

The sound of something breaking.

I don’t doubt there’s something breaking, but if it’s actually the curse, I wouldn’t credit Shigure for it.

Anyhow, Yuki drops by just to remind Rin that Haru still loves her (even if she forbids him from contacting Haru about the situation).

(remembering) Haru: That girl…I think Yuki and Kyo’s auras have softened because of her.

Rin: Is she that amazing?

Haru: Nope. She’s just an ordinary girl. If you met her, you might understand too, Rin. She’s nice.

I find it amusing that Rin had the exact same response as Hiro.

You’re nice too, Haru. You’re kind. Too kind. Kind people…I pity them. That’s why I didn’t want to see you or that girl. But that first time I went to Gure-nii’s house after breaking up with Haru, that girl was there. I felt a burning impulse…

FB 80-5

Rin: Stop. You’re trying to break the curse. Stop it. You visited Kazuma to ask him about it, didn’t you? What do you think you’re doing? Are you patronizing us? Do you feel pity for us freaks? Well, don’t bother. We don’t need your sympathy or your meddling. Kind people should keep on living in their kind little world!

Do you blame me?

Rin: (internally) No, I don’t. But this is the only way I can say it. I don’t want to see nice people suffer. I don’t want to see them get hurt.

She really has a surprising amount in common with Hiro – they both struggle to say what they mean in a way that other people can understand.  But she can’t see the paradox that if she really cares so much about whether she’s hurting others, she must have at least some good in her to want that.

Tohru: Could it be…? Isuzu-san, are you also trying to break the curse? […] Isuzu-san…Isuzu-san, do you know of a way to break the curse!?

Rin: Shut your damn mouth and keep your nose out of our business! Don’t meddle!

Tohru: I will! I’m going to meddle!

Rin: Let it go or else!

Tohru: No! Just as there are things you won’t back down on, Isuzu-san, there are things I won’t back down on either. So that’s why-

Rin: Shut up! Shut up! Shut up! It doesn’t exist! It doesn’t exist anywhere! There isn’t a way! No one knows anything. So I’m stuck. I…I don’t know what to do…!

These two have an awful lot in common, too…

Leave me alone…! This is why I didn’t want to be near her. She’s the kind of girl who makes me feel this way. That time too…I wanted to break down and cry. I wanted to run over to her, put my head on her lap, and trust her with my heart, like a child who goes crying home to her mother. I want to complain to her about how unfair this all is, about how weak I am. And I have a feeling she would let me. I think she would accept me. But I can’t do that to her. She doesn’t deserve that. People like me cling to kind people. We seek them out. We leech them dry. That’s why I won’t involve anyone else in this. It’s better if I go it alone. I’ll keep running alone. Nobody has to understand me. It’s easier if they hate me. It’s better if I’m all alone. That’s what I decided, and I intend to stick with it. I decided I wouldn’t cry…

FB 80-6

Speaking as a “kind person”, this mentality of keeping your problems to yourself so they don’t hurt others is just plain frustrating, and possibly even more painful than hearing their complaints because you still see they’re in pain and you just don’t know the reason.

Rin: I don’t know what to do anymore. I don’t know anything. I can’t do anything on my own.

Tohru: Being alone is scary. Being all alone is terrifying.

Tohru doesn’t have any motherly advice – just sympathy.  She’s saying what she knows from experience now, not what her mother taught her.  But Rin’s not looking for advice right now, just someone to cling to in the storm of her life.

That day, the morning glow of sunrise quietly lit up the land. It even illuminated places too far away for the eye to see.

Until next time…

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