Some people have a bad day. I’ve had a bad life.

This is the episode that proved to me just how much the writers care about Catra. And it breaks my heart EVERY TIME.

Scorpia: Now, what are we looking at?

Catra: I’m looking at the Crimson Waste, the place Hordak sent me to die. I have no idea what you’re doing, as the last thing I told you was to leave me alone. 

Scorpia: I know. It was so noble of you! You pushed me away in order to save me, and it just brought us closer together!

Catra: I’m not- you know what? It doesn’t matter. Nothing matters anymore. You know what I see here? All my hard work ignored, because of one mistake. My dreams turning to dust in front of my eyes.

This episode is clearly inspired by Sergio Leone’s spaghetti westerns, the title being a reference to his Once Upon a Time in the West. I’ve never actually seen that film, but I have seen enough of his westerns to know his style, like the closeups on the eyes (which the episode opens on), and influences from the very distinctive soundtracks of his collaborator Ennio Morricone. In fact, the soundtrack from The Good, the Bad and the Ugly is absolutely iconic and ingrained in pop culture as the “sound of the wild west”, despite the composer being Italian!

Scorpia: Huh. Must be abandoned. According to Force Captain Orientation, the Crimson Waste is completely deserted.

Catra: Yeah, it better be! I’m not in the mood to deal with- people.

Scorpia: Or that information could be completely wrong. Man, maybe I should’ve skipped Orientation, you know what I mean?

Catra: Ugh! Of course Hordak is wrong! He’s a shut-in who lives in his lab and doesn’t know how to do anything. Why am I surprised at this? Move it! I’m tired.

Scorpia: Hey, you know, Catra, I’m not questioning your leadership here, but maybe we shouldn’t pick on the heavily-armed crowd? 

Catra: Oh yeah? And what are they going to do, send me to die in the Crimson Waste? Oh, would you look at that! I’m already here.

Then they just so happen to overhear Huntara’s goons complaining about the people Huntara left them for.

 Catra: Which way did they go?

Horned Goon: Who are you?

Catra: You said there was a sparkly girl, a boy with arrows, and a blonde. Which way did they go?

Horned Goon: Buzz off, kitty kitty.

Catra: What, are you too dumb to understand a simple question? Just point, genius, and I’ll figure it out.

Scorpia: Hey, uh, Catra?

Catra: What?

Scorpia: Last thing I remember, Hordak sent us out here to track down First Ones tech, not Adora, so why do we need to know which way they’re going?

Catra: Because Adora and her friends are always after the same thing we are. Of course they’re in the literal middle of nowhere! So spit it out already! Where are they going?

Horned Goon: There are only two rules in the Crimson Waste. One, the strong make the rules.

And then Catra lets out one of her very distinctive laughs.

Catra: So, here’s the thing, I’ve done this. The whole “threatening people” bit, the intimidation? I’ve been there, and I just don’t care anymore.

Some people have a bad day. I’ve had a bad life. If I want something, it’s taken from me. If I win a fight, I lose the war. Threats only work on someone who has something to lose. But me? I’ve already lost it all. And you can’t be any good at this, because you just let yourself get distracted. So, what’ll it be?

Horned Goon: Hey! You know, we don’t think of you as an outsider at all. You are okay with us! We’ll take you anywhere you wanna go, boss.

Meanwhile, Adora’s plot kind of ended on a cliffhanger last episode, so we’ve gotta catch up with them.

Adora: I can’t believe I’m standing in front of Mara’s ship.

Glimmer: How do you know this is Mara’s?

Adora: Light Hope showed me Mara’s ship crashing, right before the stars disappeared.

Huntara: Well I don’t know who Mara is, but that’s definitely the ship that says your name.

Adora: Wait, says my name?

Huntara: Not Adora. It says She-ra.

And naturally, Bow’s psyched to explore a ship that has actually been in space, but naturally, it’s already been thoroughly looted by now, and they can’t find any tech that could be sending out a signal…but there’s still a voice coming from somewhere (which makes everyone assume it’s haunted, so after it was pillaged, the residents steered clear of it).

Voice: She-ra…Etheria…Mara…

Adora: Where is that voice coming from? Where’s the door? This ship is massive, but this room is tiny! There has to be a door around here somewhere! Hold on.

Because of course the First Ones would build She-ra’s ship with a little added security.

Meanwhile, Catra and Scorpia are legitimately having a good time!

Scorpia: Oh, boy! You really had them going! I’ve never seen a room of murderous toughs look so freaked out before! It was truly an honor to witness.

Catra: What, those washed-up hacks? They needed to be taught what happens when they try to threaten me.

Scorpia: Well, they won’t be bothering us anymore, that’s for sure! Oh, oops! Sorry, can you carry her again?

Catra: Scorpia, you don’t have to ask. Carry her, idiot! Move.

Catra: You know, I’m starting to think this place gets a bad rap.

Scorpia: Oh, I’m with you. It’s nice and toasty, if you look for the ground ripples, you can avoid the quicksand, and my exoskeleton is loving this dry climate!

Catra: And you can take whatever you want! The meaner you are, the more they listen to you. Give me your dart gun!

Horned Goon: Oh, uh, yeah.

Catra: See? I’m going to call you Kyle.

Goat Kyle: What?

Catra: Shut up and keep walking, Kyle!

Goat Kyle: Ah…kay.

Scorpia: So, this is fun!

Catra: Yeah. It is.

Catra: Stop it right now, or I take it all back.

Scorpia: I’m not saying anything.

Catra: Ugh. You’re doing that thing, with your face, where it’s obvious what you’re thinking?

Scorpia: Do you mean…smiling?

Catra: Look, I’m just acknowledging…we make a good team, that’s it.

Scorpia: Right! A good team! That’s us.

Catra: What are you trying to pull?

Goat Kyle: N-nothing! What are you talking about?

Scorpia: Catra, what’s going on?

Catra: I’ll tell you what. Kyle here wasn’t paying attention, and led us right into an ambush.

Meanwhile at the ship, the Squad finally manages to reach the bridge.

Hologram Mara: I am Mara, She-ra of Etheria, and I am gone.

Adora: Mara! I have so many questions for you! I don’t even know where to start.

Mara: I am Mara, She-ra of Etheria, and I am gone.

Adora: Uh, hi. I’m Adora

Mara: I am Mara, She-ra of Etheria, and I am gone.

Huntara: Well that’s unsettling.

Adora: No. No, no! This isn’t it! I’ve done this before. There’s usually a password or something.

Mara: I am Mara, She-ra of Etheria, and I am gone.

Adora: Eternia! I have the sword! I am She-ra! Administrator detected! Speak to me!

Mara: I am Mara, She-ra of Etheria, and I am gone.

Glimmer: Uh, Adora?

Adora: Of course it’s on a loop! Of course it is! Because why would a hologram ever give me a straight answer? Solve a puzzle, train, let go. I do everything they tell me, waiting for answers, and all I’m left with is- is…why was I taken from my family? Why was I forced to become a soldier? Why did I come here if this was nothing but another dead end?

But in her frustration, she goes through the hologram and hits the console, which indicates that she should put her sword into a slot…

Mara: I don’t have much time, I barely made it out. If you are seeing this, it means you wield the sword. You are the new She-ra. It means I failed. I was supposed to be the last. And I am so, so sorry.

Light Hope had focused so much on Mara’s failures as She-ra, that seeing her in this hologram, clearly frightened and upset, and just plain HUMAN, takes Adora aback.

Meanwhile, Catra was dealing with an ambush.

Goat Kyle: Oh no. It’s Tung Lashor!

Catra: *laugh* I’m sorry, what?

Goat Kyle: Tung Lashor leads the number two gang in the Crimson Waste! He’s been itching to push Huntara out for years and become number one. With her gone, they’d run this place!

Tung Lashor: And it looks like today is our lucky, lucky day. I never thought you’d be dumb enough to step foot out here without Huntara, but here you are! And now I’m going to leave your bones as a warning to all who cross Tung Lashor, strongest in the Crimson Waste!

Catra: *laugh* It sounds even stupider the second time! Seriously, “Tung Lashor”? Which one of you came up with that?

Scorpia: Right? It’s like, what? Did you lose a bet?

Tung Lashor: You done, outsider?

Catra: Are you kidding? I’m just getting started! First, all that “leaving your bones” talk, eh, it’s just too much. But I’m sure around here you’re considered very scary. Second, they’re not with Huntara anymore. They’re with me. And third…I like that whip. I think I’ll be taking it.

Tung Lashor: Oh, is that so? Big talk, for such a-

Scorpia: Hey, do you even know how to use a whip?

Catra: It can’t be hard if this guy figured it out.

[…]

Scorpia: I think it’s all in the wrist, you know? Like, wapow! Crack! Whip!

Catra: No, I’m not gonna say “whip” when I use the whip. No one does that.

Scorpia: Ooh, maybe you can say a catchphrase, then! Like, uh, like “whip”! 

But of course, he tires of their banter, so he starts the fight.

Tung Lashor: Enough! I’m gonna wipe that smirk off your face, outsider! Who’s the strongest in the Crimson Waste?

Goons: Lashor!

Tung Lashor: And don’t you forget it! Whip! 

As Catra has nothing but a bone knife on her, she’s left mostly to dodge the whip, but eventually he catches her foot and grabs her.

Tung Lashor: Aw, where’s all that big talk now, kitty?

But then she throws sand in his face and kicks him, because she never did care about “fair fights”. Then she lures him into quicksand, pretends like she wants to help him out…and just takes the whip from him when he tosses it to her, leaving him to find his own way out of it (I’m pretty sure this is the last we see of him, so it’s even odds if he was rescued by one of his goons or not).

Catra: Great. Thanks for the whip. That was too easy. Now, who’s the strongest in the Crimson Waste?

Scorpia: Catra, Catra!

Goons: Catra, Catra!

Catra: And don’t you forget it.

Mara: I don’t know what they told you, but it wasn’t all bad at first. We were the first ones to settle Etheria, to really study this planet’s magic. Light Hope used the- can’t- weapon- the weapon- weapon. 

The hologram starts glitching out here.

Adora: What weapon? Bow, how’s it going? Have you fixed it yet?

Bow: I’m trying, but I think the message got damaged when the ship crashed.

Mara: I opened a portal to a completely empty dimension and pulled Etheria in. I hid us from the rest of the universe, to keep everyone safe. This is the one place they’ll never find us. I saw what they would do, the deaths that would follow! I couldn’t stop them before, but I can now! Hiding is our only option. Maybe it’s been a week. Maybe it’s been thousands of years. I never wanted to be a hero- I won’t be remembered as one. You have the sword now. It is the administrator key to our planet. With it, you can activate a portal. So I’m begging you: Don’t do it! Leave us here! If you open a portal, death and destruction will follow! For the good of the universe, Etheria must stay in Despondos! If not, everyone will-

And naturally, that’s when Catra shows up.

Huntara: Who’s there? Come out and face Huntara!

They snipe Bow and Glimmer with darts first, but Huntara manages to block the ones aimed at her and Adora. I initially questioned the logic of taking out Bow and Glimmer first, but on second thought, they ARE the ones with ranged attacks, and considering that Adora doesn’t currently have her sword on hand (it’s still in the console), she wouldn’t be able to do much against a whole gang.

Huntara: You two joined Tung Lashor?

Catra: They haven’t joined him. They joined me. Hey Adora.

And Huntara takes the darts aimed at her and Adora again, while Adora tries to get at the sword, but Catra’s a bit too handy with her whip and takes the sword.

Catra: This might be the quickest I’ve ever won a fight. Always so dramatic with you, isn’t it, Adora?

But Huntara’s jacket seems to have protected her from the darts (at least partially), so she’s still on her feet, and Adora tells her to grab Bow and Glimmer and escape. Then Scorpia just hits Adora with a sting.

Thus, Catra actually wins for once!

Goat Kyle: A toast to driving Huntara out of the Waste! A toast to finding all this new loot, huh? And a toast to Boss Catra, best leader we’ve ever had!

Catra: Scorpia! A toast to Scorpia!

Scorpia: Oh, what? I can’t. You guys- thank you. Gosh.

Then she runs off with Scorpia and she’s actually HAPPY and i can’t

Catra: Can you believe this? They said this was called a “party”. I like it! When we go back, there’s going to be a lot more parties.

Scorpia: Uh, the crazy desert lady got away.

Catra: Ah, let her. We’ve got the most important thing right here. You heard that hologram! this is the key to the whole planet. When I bring this back to the Fright Zone, Hordak will see me for what I’m worth, and I’ll be back on top.

Scorpia: Or, you know, counterpoint – we don’t go back at all.

Catra: What? Why wouldn’t we go back?

Scorpia: Uh, because you hate it there?

Catra: I- don’t…

Scorpia: Hear me out, okay? Within, like, a day, you’ve defeated the gangs ruling the Crimson Waste and made yourself their leader! This is the happiest I’ve ever seen you! Scratch that, this is the first time I’ve ever seen you happy, period. So why would we go back? Let’s stay here. Forget Hordak, forget Adora. Forget all of them! We could rule the Crimson Waste together, just the two of us! We could, you know, be happy.

Catra: I- I don’t…I have to go check on the prisoner.

Catra has no concept of the world outside the Fright Zone, so even when it’s a place like the Crimson Waste that values her skills and ruthlessness, she’s scared of a life outside of everything she’s ever known. Also, fun tidbit: In the original series, Scorpia was the ruler of the Crimson Waste (it was evidently under Horde control).

And bad habits (like antagonizing Adora) die hard.

Adora: Catra, you can’t do this!

Catra: Well, hello to you, too. What can’t I do this this time?

Adora: Hordak is trying to open a portal. He wants to bring the rest of the Horde army through to Etheria. We can’t let that happen!

Catra: The rest of the Horde army?

Adora: Hordak is part of a gigantic evil army from another world-

Catra: Never a dull moment with you. Why would I be against more Horde? That means we win and you lose.

Adora: We’ll all lose if Hordak uses his portal machine! Light Hope and Mara both said that opening a portal will endanger everyone.

Catra: You’ll listen to anything weird old holograms tell you, won’t you? You should really try to get over that. Besides, how do you know about what Hordak’s doing?

Adora: Shadow Weaver told me. We know all about Hordak’s plan.

Catra: Shadow Weaver told you? How exactly did Shadow Weaver tell you this?

Adora: You didn’t know?

Adora really CAN be clueless sometimes. Shadow Weaver wouldn’t exactly have left a change of address form in the Fright Zone.

Adora: Catra, Shadow Weaver is in Bright Moon.

Catra: Shadow Weaver left me…for you. All of this happened because of you.

Adora: Catra? Catra, please, you have to listen.

And that’s what does it. Catra rejects a life of happiness because she refuses to let Adora “win”, to let Adora have what she can’t.

Scorpia: Catra, you okay?

Catra: We are going back. We are going to open a portal. And we are going to crush them all.

i can’t

this show

until next time