Pearl tries to be cool…and kinda succeeds despite herself.
The plot begins when Greg bails on Amethyst when they’d been planning on attending a show together.
Greg: I’m sorry, Amethyst. It totally slipped my mind that Barb invited me and Vidalia over for cards.
Amethyst: Cards? Who broke you guys out of the retirement home?
Greg: Trust me, I’d love to go to the show! But Barb threatened to hold my mail if I didn’t. And she’s not a woman of empty threats.
With Pearl turning out to be the de facto chaperone for the evening, she surprises everyone by suggesting she, Amethyst, and Steven go to the show together.
Amethyst: You want to go to a show? With loud music and people pushing each other?
Pearl: I’ve done my fair share of…pushing.
Pearl’s just so cute when she’s trying to look “bad”!
Pearl: I think I’ll try drinking tonight.
Steven: Wow, really? I didn’t know you liked apple juice.
Forget drinking alcohol, Pearl’s living on the edge just by consuming liquid!
Then a pink-haired biker chick walks in.
Steven: Pearl? You okay?
Pearl: Ah, I just didn’t realize humans could come with pink hair.
Steven: They don’t. You’ve gotta go to the store and get this goo? It smells really bad and it turns your hair whatever color you want.
Pearl: Why would she do that?
Steven: Why don’t you go and ask her?
Awkwardness ensues, and Pearl doesn’t get a word in.
Amethyst: Well, you sure showed those cups who’s boss!
Steven: Okay, nobody’s gonna say it? She kinda looked like Mom. You noticed, I noticed, we all noticed.
Amethyst: Oh. Oh! That’s why you were acting like such a goon!
Pearl: No, no, that’s not it. I’m done thinking about the past. Tonight, I’m all about the future. I’m going to a show. I’m a new Gem who loves socializing with humans.
Amethyst: That’s what it was?
And then they just happen to come across Mysterious Pink Haired Girl again on the road!
Amethyst: Do something!
Pearl: Like what? Flash my lights? Honk at her?
Amethyst: Just shoot her a look!
Speaking from experience, honking at someone is basically like catcalling, but louder (and thus more annoying). I’m just saying, it’s never raised my opinion of anyone.
Then they get caught at a red light and lose Pink Haired Girl. But since no one else is around, Pearl loses patience and runs the light.
Pearl: New Pearl, no plan.
But evidently there was a policecar patrolling in the vicinity.
Pearl: What do I do?
Steven: You have to pull over to the side and show them your license.
Pearl: I don’t have a license.
Amethyst: Oh, right.
Steven: But, but you’re old!
Pearl: What was I supposed to tell the DMV, that I’m from another planet? I’m not exactly a citizen, Steven!
This is the trouble of interacting with humans – you generally have to abide by their laws. Unless you can outrun/outsmart the police.
Pearl: This is why we buckle up!
So she successfully evades the police, only to discover that the car is out of gas.
So they leave the car to walk in search of a gas station, and Pearl naturally thinks she’s a failure.
Pearl: I was going to drink a juice and wear these- pants! And hit people gently enough as to not actually hurt them! And you would say, “Wow! Pearl is really cool!” But no! Instead, we drove to loud music, chased a mysterious woman into the night, and broke the law! I’ve lost my edge. I should’ve stayed home with the puzzle.
Amethyst: Listen to yourself. You’re so hardcore! Who cares about pants? You gunned it from the cops!
Steven: That’s the most scared I’ve been since you almost let me die! You’re a criminal now!
Pearl: Now? I’ve been a criminal for six thousand years.
It’s kind of sad that I’m not even sure which near-death experience Steven’s referring to here. But also Pearl has a really skewed idea of how to be cool.
Then it turns out the night isn’t a total bust after all, as they run into the “show” (they’re literally playing in someone’s garage), and what’s more, the Little Pink Haired Girl is there too.
Pearl: I’m going to talk to her.
Amethyst: Look Pearl, I already think you’re cool. You can ease into the socializing with humans thing.
Steven: How’d it go?
Pearl: I asked her about her hair, and then she asked how I colored mine. I told her my appearance is just a conscious manifestation of light, and she said “I know how that is”, although, I highly doubt it. Oh, and then I added, by the way, I saved your planet and your species and you’re welcome.
And she actually managed to get the girl’s phone number (although Pearl doesn’t have a phone).
Amethyst: Pearl! You just gave her some Shakespearean spiel about light, then got her number like it was nothing!
It’s fun seeing Pearl try to expand her horizons (and the Disaster Combo backing her up).
Until next time…