Why is a new day dawning? Why do they look like they’re having so much fun? Why is the TV telling me about tomorrow’s weather? Why didn’t the world end the day Katsuya died?
Kyoko is lost in a sea of despair. Her father calls one day just to make sure she knows she still can’t come back home, child or no child.
Kyoko: Dad, you once told me that in this world, there are people who are needed and people who aren’t. That was a damned lie. (internally) It was a lie. The truth is that this world doesn’t need anyone. It doesn’t need parents, teachers, the people we look up to, children, or adults. The world doesn’t need me, or Katsuya. The world doesn’t need any of us. The world doesn’t care who lives or dies. The sun rises just the same. The world doesn’t give a damn about anybody…and that’s so sad. In the end, we’re all alone. I’m sure that’s why we seek each other out. We want to need and be needed. We want to meet someone who needs us.
At this point, Tohru is just sitting around in the background as bits and pieces of her terrifying memories are acted out in front of us.
Kyoko: I want to go see him.
Where are you? Where do I need to go to find you again? Will we be reunited if I die?
As Kyoko seriously contemplates suicide, a random child suddenly reminds her that she has a kid of her own she’s supposed to be looking after.
Tohru…when was the last time I talked to her? We haven’t been talking. I haven’t heard her voice.
If you’re thinking there’s no little girl in the world who’d be so put together under the circumstances…you’re right. But this is the time for Kyoko’s story.
I’m such an idiot. Why do I always have to lose my way first before finding my answer?
Kyoko: Even if the world doesn’t need us, we live for the people who do. At least I do.
I can understand the appeal of this kind of humanist philosophy, even if I personally desire more purpose than the needs of other mortal humans. My main issue with it is that it places all of one’s worth in the hands of other people, and when those other people are taken away, you’re left with nothing. Nothing but yourself.
Kyoko: I wonder how lost you’ll get. How much time it’ll take before you find your answer.
Kyo: I’d always thought I was born to be hated by people. And that hurting people was the only thing I was good for. After all, isn’t that why my mom died? In the end, she wanted to say it was my fault, right? Even you…you smiled at me back then, but now you blame me.
Kyo sees both his mother and Kyoko, warning him to stay “inside”.
It turns out it’s just a nightmare…
He goes downstairs to find Tohru perfectly fine (hanging out with Momiji and Yuki, but he clearly only cares about Tohru).
Momiji: I know! You had a bad dream, didn’t you!? That’s what happens when you sleep at strange times!
I kept thinking about that stuff, so it made its way into my dream. I should take it as a warning, telling me not to get arrogant. Not to get the wrong idea. No way. There’s no way Tohru could ever love me like I love her. It’s just ridiculous. I could kick myself for even thinking of such a stupid idea. I should be ashamed. I don’t need nightmares to spell it out. I won’t try to get any closer to her. I shouldn’t have to keep telling myself “No way” at this point. It’s all in my head. Just forget it. Forget all about it,
So Kyo’s not in denial about his own feelings, only doubting Tohru’s…a doubt which seems to be rooted in his relationship with Kyoko-san.
I always have to lose my way first before finding my answer. But then, everyone does.
Until next time…